CHANGES & CHOICES

As I enter the 30th week of my pregnancy the reality of what is about to happen is starting to sink in. Not that I haven't been thinking about it all along but with each passing day, each visit to the midwife, each new pound gained and each inch added around the belly it is becoming more obvious. There are so many emotions surrounding a baby- excitement about my new life to come and the baby, nervousness about being a mom, worried about how to balance work, home, and family life.

There are so many changes and choices to be made. I have realized that it doesn't matter how much I read or educate myself or the number of people I ask I will not know the answer to the many the questions until baby Zucchini is here in my arms. I think the biggest question is do I become a full-time mama or continue being a career woman and be a part-time mama? I have spent hours trying to figure out the best answer.

Career: I am very fortunate to have the position I have, for it's so much more than a job but a career with endless growth opportunities. I have the chance to truly make a difference in the community and on help others. I am able to network with so many local agencies and individuals, collaborate with and learn from amazing professionals, develop programs implemented in the community, work with teens and children, be a mentor and leader, develop my public speaking, coordinate events, learn how to work within systems, enhance my writing and communication skills, and so much more. This is what I went to school for and have worked so hard for. I am truly happy there and wake up everyday excited about work.

Mama: I have always dreamed of being a mama! To create a family and share in the journey of another person is the most amazing and wonderful thing anyone could imagine. I cannot wait till she arrives and I get to play with her, show her to the world, educate her mind, teach her to love, make her laugh, create a safe environment for her, and so much more. She will be a happy, healthy, educated, independent, and caring person. To be able to witness her growth and development, share in her journey is what being a mama is about. I couldn't imagine not being there for her as she learns to talk and walk, when she crys and laughs, and all of her firsts and every time after. I feel as though I was born to be a mama.

Do I put her aside for my career or do I put my career on hold for the love of my life, my daughter? I think every new mama has asked herself this question. If only there was a magic crystal ball to tell me what to do.